My Hope is in You, Lord!

I love this contemporary Christian song...when it comes on the radio, I sing along at the top of my lungs!  Even though my intention every second of every minute of every day is to put my hope in Christ, I have a tendency to put my hope in people and circumstances.  People and circumstances are not qualified to keep my life hopeful.  My thick skull has a hard time remembering this truth!!  Finding the perfect balance to living is a constant challenge.  I want to have my eyes wide open, but I never want to get cynical and hard.  I want to trust people, knowing that they could potentially hurt me.  I want to love freely, but understand that I might not have that love reciprocated.  My desire is to understand and see my world, my people and my circumstances the way God does, to keep a soft heart, to be calm and rational, to be careful about every decision and most of all, to trust in the only One who can save us...the Voice of Truth!  In Him I find my purpose, my passion, my ministry, my focus, my peace and my wholeness.    "My hope is in You, Lord, all the day long. I won't be shaken by drought or storm. A peace that passes understanding is my song and I sing..My hope is in You, Lord!"

A Simple Life

A simple life...it's what I wish for.  Minimum stress, no hectic schedule, no drama~
A life lived for God's pleasure and in His will,  a peaceful existence with myself, family, friends, neighbors and co-workers. I don't want to know bad things about others and I don't want to fix anyone. I am letting go of the past and not worrying about the future.  I am learning that being brave does not mean the absence of fear, so I am pressing on, even when I feel afraid.  I will not judge the actions of other people and will keep remembering that I am only responsible for mine. I continue to weed out things in my home...clothes, kitchen "stuff", knick-knacks, books, cds, dvds, etc.  My desire for only the things I need is growing and I have a garage full of yard sale items that need a new home.  I want to look nice but I want a hairstyle that requires "no fussing"!  I want my nails short and my wardrobe sparse.  No more fretting over what to match up...what jewelry to wear, what goes with what;  I think that's why I'm leaning towards simple dresses.  Pull one out, slip into some sandals and I'm out the door.  If I didn't need make-up, I wouldn't wear any, but at my age, a little goes a long way! And, if I didn't have all these coarse, gray hairs, I'd strive to be happy going au naturel.  Maybe one day~  

More Popcorn, Please!!!

I love movies and the ones I love the most I watch over and over.  Here's a list of those that I've watched at least 10 or more times...

Jane Eyre (about 5 different versions)     
To Kill A Mockingbird
Pride & Prejudice (long and short versions)
Sense & Sensibility                                 
Little Women                                          
Emma (two versions)                                         
Becoming Jane
Mansfield Park
Persuasion
Miss Potter
While You Were Sleeping
Ever After
You've Got Mail
The Count of Monte Cristo
The Last of the Mohicans
The Age of Innocence

I'm watching Becoming Jane as I write this and Jane is breaking up with Tom Lefroy....it makes me sad, but I just keep watching and watching, over and over, year after year.  As Brian always said, "you're a hopeless romantic!"

Roller Coasters

I have never liked roller coasters.  My earliest memory of riding one is with my Pawpaw Davis when I was very young.  It was a small roller coaster for kids and Pawpaw had on one of those hats that men wore back then ...it flew off during the ride.  I don't remember exactly how I felt when the ride ended, but I'm sure it didn't thrill me.  I've ridden many coasters just because of peer pressure and/or family pressure.  I even rode one years ago where riders were almost standing up.  It was a strange feeling, especially going upside down a couple of times.  It's been years since I've been on a physical roller coaster but for the past 2 years, I've been on one very long emotional ride.  I cry one minute, laugh the next, feel calm one day and anxious a couple of days later.  One Sunday, I will love my new church and the following week, I feel like an outsider.  I spend a good amount of time with other people and yet, deep down, I almost always have a nagging feeling that I'm alone.  Losing your husband and your mother just 19 months apart is bound to take you on a wild ride, a huge, scary ride called GRIEF.  Like I said...I've never liked roller coasters!!

Can You Stomach This?

I love to eat healthy food...really, I do!!  But, there are some days when I can't believe what I allow myself to eat.  The problem is not quantity, but quality.  Here's what went into my stomach today:
1 small cup of hot chocolate, 1 almond granola bar, about 20 hot & spicy saltine crackers, 32 ounces of diet Sunkist, 1 small bottle of water, 1 turkey sandwich, 1 prune, 3 pieces of Valentine chocolate, a handful of salt & pepper potato chips, a small piece of German chocolate cake, a handful of smoked honey almonds, 1/2 of a cherry pop tart and.....it's not even dinner time yet.  Uh, just recalling this and actually writing it down is making me feel a little queasy~I'm promising myself to do better tomorrow.  Just so you know....last night, I had chicken and a healthy salad for dinner!! (Okay, I did eat about 7 chocolate mint cookies for dessert)  Maybe I'll give up junk food for Lent~

Time Really Does Fly

Friday, February 17, in Nashville, TN, I got together with my sister-in-law and 3 other "girls" that I became friends with a kazillion years ago at Free Will Baptist Bible College.  We ate pizza while reminiscing and catching up with each other...we did that until almost 3:00 a.m.  We sat around Sandy's kitchen table all night, not even getting up to change into our pajamas (much to my chagrin)!!  Then, it was up the next morning and more talking around the table as we drank coffee.  Finally, and only because no one could be heard over the growling empty stomachs, we drove to IHop for brunch.  Well, you guessed it...more talking.  I think it's going to take many more weekends and countless hours to get "talked out"!  Alot happens in 35 years, things change, we've all changed and in some ways, we're  exactly the same.  We took turns passing a college yearbook around and gasping at how young we really were "back then"~but, when it all comes down to it, to the truth, we're still just a bunch of girls trying to follow God's path for our lives.  Next gab-fest... Paducah, Kentucky!!!

Becoming a peace "maker", not "keeper"

God showed me something about myself this week - I will go to great lengths to keep the peace and to create a "fake harmony" instead of putting myself in situations where there might be healthy conflict.  Sometimes, I am more afraid of people not being happy with me or with decisions I make than I am of not being totally truthful and fully obedient to what I know God has called me to do.  Thanks to my  son, Brandon, who walks closely with the Lord, and the article he sent me,  I have had my spiritual toes stepped on!  It's a good thing~

A Particular Sadness

For some reason, I love YouTube.  I can think of a song and/or an artist, type it in, click and listen to my song of choice.  Tonight, I only wanted to listen to sad songs.  I'm kinda funny like that.  Sometimes, I like to cry and feel bad.  One of the songs I listened to was Arms Of An Angel, by Sarah McLachlan...these lyrics, "everywhere you turn, there are vultures and thieves at your back" get me every time.  There are plenty of sad songs out there and tonight, I will indulge.  Tomorrow, I just might play some MJ tunes and dance in my kitchen.  If you could only witness my joy as I bust some moves to The Way You Make Me Feel, Billy Jean and I Want You Back!  But for now....I'm experiencing a particular sadness:  "Spend all your time waiting for that second chance, for a break that will make it okay.  There's always a reason to feel "not good enough" and it's hard at the end of the day."  Why not listen and cry with me~

A Time To Sleep

This is my first post on my brand new blog.  I just had to write something before I fall asleep and since my eyelids are really droopy, I better hurry.  Through this blog, you will take a journey with me straight down a crooked lane.  You'll never know from one post to another what you might read.  More than likely, it will be lots of little "nothings" that hopefully will add up to something!  Good night, all ye readers of blogs~